Christmas time!!

My favorite holiday, my favorite time of year, my favorite absolute everything! It seems like everything about this time of year (except for the cold weather) is just absolutely amazing. The foods incredible, hot chocolate has candy cane in it, everything is decorated and everyone just seems nicer and happier. I'm a usually happy person but once Christmas time comes around I get twice as cheery. The only downside is since I'm in Oregon I can't really spend the holidays with my family. So the one thing I requested from Kyle was we get our own tree for our apartment so it feels more like home! This will be the very first Christmas I have ever spent away from my mom and even though we fight I still love her and it's tough to be away from her. I'm not so sure if Kyle really wants a tree but that doesn't change the fact I want one. He kind of figures that since we're spending the night at his moms we don't need to decorate or get a tree or anything but to me it's more than that. I want to bring the spirit of Christmas in my own home so I can be happier here and feel better about not being with my own family this year.

Nightmares

So lately I've been having the goriest, scariest and most terrifying nightmares ever! I'm not really sure why but they suck. I tend to dream probably more than the average person and they've always been vivid and realistic along with really odd! Most of the time they make some sense along with what's going on in my life but ever since I've moved to Oregon they make no sense and are just absolutely horrendous! I don't think I should really go into details on the gory parts but the last one I had I was practically in tears. It makes me wonder if there's a reason or some deep meaning as to why they've been so off balance. It could be the one in a while scary movie, but even in my scary movie phase when I was younger they've never been this bad! Then I think maybe it could be stress, then I remember that I'm not really a stressed person no matter whats going on. Well all I know is they need to leave me alone so I can sleep!!

Ex-boyfriends and Ex-friends!

Before I met Kyle I dated a guy named Wilhelm, we had dated for two years and he was pretty darn set on us having a fairy tale ending. He actually moved in with me and my family six months after we were dating despite my young age. Things got a bit crazy between us and he became consumed with things I wasn't interested in and hung out with friends I honestly couldn't stand! After a while of unhappiness I broke up with him, because I am not the type to live MY life if I am unhappy in any way! He took it way harder than I thought, to this day he has completely changed from a happy, love life, goal orientated person to pretty much not caring about anything! The fact that he was such a big part of my life for so long makes it tough to handle it. To top it off my "friend" tries to get back at me by making him like her then dropping him the first chance she got. I really don't understand why people have to be so sneaky! I just wish I knew a way to wear he was happy again because he is one of my best friends and deserves better treatment than he's been getting from everyone he knows. Thank goodness Kyle, my current boyfriend, is as understanding as he is so I can talk Wilhelm down when he's really upset! The whole fact that I can still be friends with my ex without Kyle freaking out shows me that there really are mature guys out there that are actually worth my time!

Distance

Distance, this one word has haunted me so terribly over the past couple of years. It seems as if the people I love most are always so far away. I live in Oregon, my dad lives in Nevada, my mom and brother live in Arizona, and my best friends live in Minnesota. It's so frustrating wanting to have everyone I love near me and yet they're always so far away, then again it seems as if I always want to be somewhere I'm not. When I was in Minnesota I wanted to be in Nevada, when I was in Nevada I wanted to be in Arizona, when I was in Arizona I wanted to be in Oregon. Maybe I should learn to be content with how wonderful my life is right now. I have a great boyfriend, we have a great apartment and awesome friend here! We might get a kitten and things have just been all around great!