I'm just not used to this.

I've been in college for about a year now and it is kicking my butt. I'm used to high school and in high school we get breaks and summers and random days off. In college its term, few days off, next term- and it's kicking my butt. I've decided to take a leave of absence from Kaplan, mainly so I can attempt to find work so Kyle and I don't begin to stress about money at such a young age, but also so I don't start to falter even more with my school work. The beginning of my first term I was excited and so motivated, but now I'm starting to struggle with focusing and I know that isn't who I am. I've never had problems getting my work done, and I sure as heck am not used to turning in work late. So I have definitely decided I need a break even though it will take longer for me to get my degree, I would rather take more time than lose more of my sanity.

Teenage Romance is Dead

I moved to Oregon, far far away from everything I've always known in Arizona, and the main reason I moved was my boyfriend. I sometimes think he forgets everything I've given up to be here, including my brother, my friends, holiday traditions, actually being able to go out when I want, and my great job! I love Kyle to death but he doesn't always appreciate the fact that I clean, cook, and basically spoil him like crazy. I don't really ask for much but when I do I feel like I should be able to get it, even if it's something as simple as just watching tv for a night.

Today has definitely been tough on us, I've been extremely sick the past few days so I haven't been much fun and I haven't really wanted to do much. We had to do laundry all day long which made us both a bit grumpy towards each other and we've snapped for a few stupid things after that too! This is the most frustrated we have gotten with each other since we've been together. When I was younger I never understood how someone could start to distance themselves and fall out of love with someone they  once felt so passionately for. Now, I can see how things like that may happen, relationships are SO much work!! I love Kyle, he truly is my best friend in the world he just really needs to start to listen more and maybe even appreciate everything I am doing and have done for him. I know I'm at fault with a few things myself and I'm definitely working on them, I just need to make sure I'm not the only one making an effort.

Love and Heartbreak.

Heartbreak has always amazed me in many ways, people let others devastate them and take everything away from them oh so very easily! I've been in love twice, once with a guy I dated for two years and now with Kyle my current boyfriend. I've broken up with many boys and I've been broken up with too but whatever happened I'm still great friends with all of my ex's no hard feelings at all! I can understand how people can care for so much and having them slip away may hurt, but instead of thinking how they lost someone they should focus on the new adventures life has in store for them! I truly believe that every person has a soul mate and that fate will bring them together in the oddest of ways. Don't focus on how difficult it's going to be after a break up, don't focus on the good things of that relationship. Instead, think of all the things that went wrong and why it might have been a dead end relationship, think of the sad times and it'll be a lot easier to move on! I honestly have issues comprehending why people let emotions consume them so easily, I've never been heartbroken so I really don't understand it. I also don't understand how people can be depressed when everything in the world is so beautiful! It's really amazing how harmoniously the world works together to survive.